Why You Don’t Have to Feel Good Enough to Succeed in Business

Why You Don’t Have to Feel Good Enough to Succeed in Business

I paced the floor…teeth clenched. I was wrestling with a HUGE decision. For the first time in many years, I was working as an employee. Decent salary. Benefits. 401K. Stock options. But, looming in front of me was an opportunity to make the leap from “secure” employee to running my own business. I had done my homework on this new venture, and the numbers all made sense. It was a lucrative opportunity. But, I couldn’t stop thinking the same thoughts, over and over: What if it doesn’t work out? What if my clients don’t pay on time and we fall behind on our bills? What if I SUCK at this new business and my clients cancel my contracts? Those questions were just different versions of the BIG question:   What if I’m not good enough to do this?   It was a risk. But, I saw a problem in the market that I was excited about solving. Fast forward: I took the risk and launched out on my own as a consultant. I didn’t fail. We never fell behind on our bills. In fact, I earned more money than I had ever earned before. In retrospect, I see that the time I spent wondering if I was “good enough” was a waste of time. Those feelings didn’t help me make a decision. They only caused me to get stuck in “analysis paralysis.” In my case, I took the risk. But, many people miss out on incredible opportunities because they’re too preoccupied feeling “not good enough.” Most of my business coaching clients have fantastic new ideas, products or scalable strategies they want to try…but they’re stuck. The questions I hear these already-successful entrepreneurs struggling with are:...
How to Spend Your Money to Get the Life You Want

How to Spend Your Money to Get the Life You Want

“I need to make a deposit,” I said out loud to an empty apartment. I sat on the floor at the foot of my bed with papers spread all around me. Bank statements, receipts, a checkbook, a notebook where I kept track of my “budget.” A curly landline phone cord stretched across the room from its normal spot beside my bed. I punched numbers into the handset, hoping the robot voice on the other end of the line would help me. I was close to overdrawing my bank account. Again. This was a common scene for me in college, in the dark ages before online banking. In fact, this was a common scene for me for the first 10 years of my adult life. Back then, I treated my bank account like a demanding, hungry teenager. It seemed like no matter how much I fed it, it always needed more. I spent my waking hours trying to figure out how to make sure it didn’t get completely empty or worse – overdrawn. It was a constant cycle of stress. I felt like a slave to my monthly expenses. Then, I began learning about the concept of investment. An investment is when you make a different kind of deposit. Not one to cover this month’s spending, but a deposit you plan not to spend. At least not for a long time. Why on earth would someone deposit money and not spend it? So that the money you invest can multiply…and you (or your kids) can spend some of it in the future. This concept of investment began to invade every area of my...
The 5 Influencers You Must Spend Time With To Be Successful

The 5 Influencers You Must Spend Time With To Be Successful

  There’s this little gem of personal development “wisdom” circulating the internet that goes like this: “You’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with.” I’ve seen this idea applied to income. As in, if you took out a calculator and added up your top 5 BFF’s incomes, your income will be the average of those 5 people. I’ve also seen this idea applied to behavior and attitude. As in, you will behave in line with the average of the 5 people you spend the most of your time with. It doesn’t take a math whiz to calculate that this theory doesn’t work for everyone. These days, the 5 people I spend most of my time with are my husband and our four sons. Now, I love my kids to the moon and back, but I definitely out-earn them (ha!) and we behave very differently. I think the basic idea behind this quote is a good one, though: Pay attention to the people you allow to influence you. If you’re allowing yourself to be influenced by people who… aren’t tapping into their creative potential just want to hang out and stay the same never take risks …then, you won’t either. On the other hand, if you’re allowing yourself to be influenced by people who… challenge themselves to be their best think big cheer you on as you grow into the person you’re called to be ….you’ll be more likely to do just that. The key concept here is influence. Your behavior will naturally align with the mindset you allow yourself to hold. Learn to...
The Illusion of Progress

The Illusion of Progress

“He’s going to the Olympics, you know.” The smell of chlorine burned my eyes as I watched her son walk along the edge of the indoor pool. He certainly looked like he could be a pro swimmer one day – lean and sleek. “Really? That’s incredible!” I replied. I welcomed the distraction of conversation while wrestling with regret over my terrible wardrobe choice to wear a sweatshirt to the most humid pool on the planet. The mom next to me continued sharing her son’s swimming accomplishments. “Yeah, we just have to get him competing on the high school team. He just needs to work on his speed. Mark my words. He’ll be in the Olympics.” My 15-year-old son was taking lessons alongside her son, but he had a very different motivation. In an epic parenting move, I had lovingly shared my humble opinion with my teenager that video games DO NOT count as exercise. I generously “allowed” him to choose a winter “activity” – one that actually worked his real-life body (without a screen). He protested, then saw I wasn’t kidding and finally agreed to “do swimming.” Probably because it alleviated the troublesome “problem” of gravity. (And he loves to swim.) Snow flurries danced outside the foggy glass walls encasing the pool, while the boys descended into the water for their first advanced lesson. My new mom-friend detailed her son’s workout schedule and the long saga of all the coaches that just don’t believe in him. I listened and watched. I tried not to notice that my video-gaming son, who stopped taking swim lessons about 8 years ago and...
“May I Borrow A Cup of Structure?”

“May I Borrow A Cup of Structure?”

Imagine for a moment a society without structure. Try to imagine the chaos if: Schools didn’t have set start and end times and there were no bells or buzzers to signal everyone to go to their next class. (A dream come true for many kids!) Grocery stores didn’t organize food into categories and didn’t keep regular “hours.” Banks didn’t have procedures for depositing and withdrawing money. Traditional jobs didn’t assign work to employees, never set schedules or coordinated efforts to achieve the company’s objectives. “Developed” societies are built on structure and lots of it. In fact, without structure, we’re often at a loss as to how to behave. Think about it. From the moment you were born, through school, jobs, and every day society – you were given external structure “cues” that helped you understand how to behave, what to do and even where to be at what time. At some point in your life, you’ll likely try do something big on your own – like start a business, write a book or invent something. You think it’s going to be exciting (and it is), but suddenly… There’s no one there to tell you where to be. There’s no one with a textbook on how to write your book or make your invention a success. You no longer “get in trouble” for being late because suddenly… you’re the boss. The problem with a structure-obsessed society is that structure is usually developed for us. We aren’t taught how to create structure for ourselves. We’ve been given a fish sandwich with a side of fries…instead of being taught how to fish,...
The GPS For Your Business

The GPS For Your Business

  Last week, I shared a really common situation where business plans are a waste of time. Poor or ineffective planning wastes time, resources and causes frustration. However, business planning itself is not a waste of time when it’s done effectively. Effective planning – for business or otherwise – is a process that helps you define a desired future outcome and then anticipate, evaluate and decide activities to accomplish that outcome. Effective business planning can be like a GPS for your business – it can help you figure out how to get where you want to go. Now, it’s true that once you choose a route – unexpected things can happen. You might get stuck behind a slow-moving truck in a no-passing zone. You might hit an unexpected detour. But, the potential for a delay is not a good reason not to plan your route. So, how do you create an effective business plan? If you’re starting a traditional business that requires a big outlay of cash for equipment, facilities or staff to start up, go with a traditional business plan. An investor or bank will likely require it. There are free templates for traditional business plans and financial statements available here: https://www.score.org/resources/business-planning-financial-statements-template-gallery. But, in today’s world, many entrepreneurs aren’t starting traditional businesses. The allure of being an online entrepreneur, sometimes called a “solopreneur,” by essentially parlaying your unique skills and services into an online business, funding yourself out of your profits. In this model, a traditional business plan is overkill. In this model, what’s needed is a more flexible, responsive approach to planning. Positive cash flow is critical to...

Why Most Business Plans Are a Waste of Time

Eleven years ago, I wrote one of the most painful things I’ve ever written. More painful than the 40+ page research paper on Immanuel Kant I wrote my senior year of college. More painful than the middle-school, broken-hearted poetry I poured out into my journal after a tragic break-up. Far more painful. What was it? A business plan. It wasn’t painful because I didn’t know what one was. I had taken a business writing class in college where I learned how to research and write them. I had even written a few for “real” small business owners. This particular business plan was painful because we were already in business. And it was failing. We had a few clients and a “promise” of more jobs, but not enough resources to grow without fast cash flow. As a last resort, we applied for a small business loan from our local bank. They required a business plan before they would even look at us. So, I researched. And wrote. And cried. And went through the gamut of emotions: desperation, anger, shame and totally illogical “hope.” Every section, every word, every financial calculation was like bleeding our very livelihood onto the page. I believed that the outcome of this loan process would determine whether or not we would be able to “grow” as a business – or force us to close our doors. Like I said: painful. We got our meeting with the bank. They were very kind, but ultimately our financial projections weren’t solid enough for them to approve the loan. In retrospect, I’m glad we were denied. The LAST thing we needed...
The “Nearly Impossible” Leadership Problem

The “Nearly Impossible” Leadership Problem

Last week, I came clean and confessed that sometimes…ideas can get the best of me. Ideas can be a BIG distraction. Overthinking. Being stuck in a never-ending “idea loop” and never taking action. In that scenario, your ideas are leading you – leaving you exhausted, unfulfilled and with no results. It’s true: sometimes, I am undisciplined with my ideas. But, sometimes, I stand up and lead my ideas through a system. A framework that gives me peace of mind, a sense of fulfillment and that helps me produce positive results in my life. What does that even mean? Moving from “idea” to “reality” takes leadership. If you want to see your idea succeed, it takes YOU leading YOURSELF (and eventually OTHERS) to make it happen. I said that to a coaching client once, and he immediately replied, “That’s IMPOSSIBLE!” Well, it can be very difficult…maybe nearly impossible to lead yourself. And, to be frank, if you haven’t been able to lead yourself successfully before, you will probably need some help to develop self-leadership skills. But, it’s not impossible. So, what does it mean to lead my ideas? It means: I take ownership for my ideas.  I don’t expect others to be more invested in my idea than I am. I don’t let my ideas lead me. I lead my ideas. I ruthlessly ignore ideas that don’t serve me. (Seriously, I’m a total jerk to my own toxic ideas: GET OUT OF MY LIFE, TOXIC IDEA!) I write interesting ideas down or use voice memos on my phone to capture them. Immediately. Because they will FLY away if I don’t! I schedule time...
My One Night Stand (A Full Confession)

My One Night Stand (A Full Confession)

With a headline like that, I’ll get straight to the point: Ashamed is how you feel in the morning. Or at least that’s how I felt. Can’t-look-myself-in-the-mirror-ashamed. And despite the awful shame, it happens again and again. It starts innocently enough: An adventurous glint in my eye, a pep in my step, The seed planted deep within my mind, nothing else will satisfy… I rush impatiently through my “regular” work and chores and errands. Sometimes it takes hours, sometimes days, but it always happens the same.  Sooner or later, I can wait no longer. The pull becomes too great. Everything else pales in comparison to the singular fulfillment of this one desire: I HAVE A SHINY, NEW IDEA! Bolstered by sheer will-power and determination, I start out confidently, thinking I know exactly how this love affair with a new idea is going to go: “Why, hello there, Idea. Ready to change the world?” But this Idea is not so easily tamed. After one or two rough nights of unmet expectations, I awake in the morning – bleary eyed and ashamed – and slip back into my “regular” life. Leaving the idea behind without so much as a phone number. I try to pretend it never happened. Have you ever had a great – I mean lightning-bolt-great – idea? Maybe while driving? Maybe in the shower? Maybe in those moments just before you fully wake up in the morning? Ever felt that idea slipping through your fingers the moment you do a little research and find a similar (or identical) idea already out there? Has an idea even broken your...
How My Friend Prepared Us For Her Death

How My Friend Prepared Us For Her Death

  Last week, I was scrolling through my Facebook News Feed, passing time while my husband drove us to our son’s karate practice & belt promotion ceremony. Without warning, I landed on a status update that didn’t make any sense.  It was a death announcement on a dear friend’s Facebook wall. She had died just hours before. Normally, I would have kept it together and waited until my husband wasn’t driving to tell my family this news. Normally. But, this was so shocking! So unexpected. My husband and I know this family well. I shared the news immediately and we were all in disbelief. I learned that she had been in the hospital since Monday of that week. I didn’t know. In the days since her passing, I’ve reconnected with friends we had in common that I haven’t talked to in a long time. While all of us were shocked and saddened, it is astounding how so many of us seem to know exactly what she would want. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my friend lived her life in a way that, in many ways, prepared us for her death – in the best way possible. She lived out clear values and boundaries that are surprisingly comforting even without her here. Here are the lessons my friend taught with her life that unintentionally prepared us to grieve her death: Look to God to Meet Your Needs She was a strong, independent woman, a wife, mother and minister. But despite her many responsibilities, her source of strength, love and peace came from one source – God. She...
How to Make Your Own Dream Come True

How to Make Your Own Dream Come True

A dream is what may be described in leadership circles as “vision.” Vision is something you can SEE clearly in your mind’s eye…before it is “real” in the real world. The mark of a great dreamer – of a visionary – is the ability to see things no one else can see. The catch is – making your own dream “come true” – making it “real” in the real world requires the help and support of other people. But, if you’re envisioning something that doesn’t exist yet…other people won’t understand how to support you. Until you inspire them to see it, too. As the leader of your dream, it falls to you to share your vision in a way that other people can believe in. But, explaining something that doesn’t exist yet can be hard. I’ve worked with visionaries and big-picture thinkers for many years. Without fail, I’ve seen great visionary leaders grow frustrated at one point or another with the “team” of people they surround themselves with as they try to bring their vision to reality. Some push through this frustration and succeed. Others allow the frustration to become the focus and their vision is never fully realized. The single difference between those who are successful with leading their vision into reality and those who are not – is their ability to inspire others to “see” and understand their vision, too. So, how can you help others see what you see?   Understand What You Really Want: Vision answers the question, “What do I want?” That’s a hard question to answer, and its even harder to answer when your mood changes. Spend some...
How I Made My First $10K Online (While CUTTING Marketing by 62%)

How I Made My First $10K Online (While CUTTING Marketing by 62%)

If you’re an online entrepreneur, you know the marketing buzzwords: Create a lead-magnet with a landing page Build a list through permission marketing Pay for traffic via advertising Post a thousand times a day on social media Create a sales funnel Write SEO-rich blog posts Start a podcast Use swipe files Get videos ranked on YouTube Do free webinars The list is endless. A lot of these tactics make sense. I’ve considered all of them and tried most of them. But, can I be real for a minute? After having a lot of success in the brick-and-mortar business world, I was really discouraged to find that running a business online is a HECK of a lot harder than all those fancy gurus make it out to seem. You’ve seen the Facebook ads where all the professional model slash “entrepreneurs” are having a blast making money poolside with their perfect, white smiles and their 22-year-old abs, right? I tried taking my laptop outside once to “enjoy my freedom” while working in the sunshine. Within 7 minutes, I had a headache from squinting, the dog was barking like a maniac and bird poop landed right next to me on the deck. It’s not as glamorous as the well-placed stock photos would lead you to believe. But, I’d trade glamour in a heartbeat for an online marketing system that actually worked. I tried a ton of them. But, eventually, I had to come to terms with the harsh reality: None of those online marketing tactics had resulted in sales. Zero. Ouch. For a while, I thought I just needed more “training” on...
Learn The 5 Invisible Obstacles That Stop You from Reaching What Matters!